Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
