I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
