I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
