i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
As shirtless as possible
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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