Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
