We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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