Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
