My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
