She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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