I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize