We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
