Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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