i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize