I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
