Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize