Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
