Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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