He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize