there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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