Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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