She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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