as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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