and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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