my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So much rum. So many feels.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
