roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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