Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
