I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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