i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
