I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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