And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
