I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
