I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize