Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
