Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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