yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize