"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
