they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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