so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
