He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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