i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
