wanna go halves on a baby?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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