"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
