How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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