I skipped work to stalk him.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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