So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
