if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
