I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
