hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
