I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
