I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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