I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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