I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
