So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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