I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
