super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
