know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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