I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
