Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
