I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
