I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
