bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
