He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
