That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
