once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
