my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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