Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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