My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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