Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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