I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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