i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
