You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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