my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize