After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
