I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize