that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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