Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
