We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
