Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
