My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
